Episode 03 Foreign Exchange Students
INT STUDENT APARTMENT - NIGHT
A click. Ambient sounds of suburban night and student life outside. RAQUEL (grad student, mid twenty’s) and HAI RONG (College student) are a little tipsy, its late, and Raquel is determined to get into Hai Rong’s pants.
RAQUEL
Ok. I’m recording.
HAI RONG
Yeah, yeah I can see that.
RAQUEL
So you know, whatever you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
HAI RONG
This is a trial now?
RAQUEL
Yes! Exactly. So, you know, be careful you don’t implicate yourself.
HAI RONG
I’m a pretty cautious person, I think I can control myself.
RAQUEL
You can always plead the fifth.
HAI RONG
Can I ask you a question though?
RAQUEL
Sure.
HAI RONG
This Anterran Lit class. Seems like there’s a lot of... debate about it.
RAQUEL
Ha. Pretty generous to call it debate.
HAI RONG
You think so?
RAQUEL
(walking it back)
No no. Debate is actually pretty accurate. Different interpretations of the same set of facts.
HAI RONG
And what’s your take?
RAQUEL
That’s complicated.
HAI RONG
I can handle complexity.
RAQUEL
Yeah, I’m getting that sense.
Beat. Wine pours.
HAI RONG
Well?
RAQUEL
Its just, I knew the professor before he started teaching this class, and he’s, like, a legend in Archeo-Literature - which is what I’m doing my grad thesis in... so, there’s no one else here I’d rather be working with. But...
HAI RONG
But?
Wine gulp.
RAQUEL
But, I don’t know. He got seperated a couple of years ago, and it was fucking MESSY. Ugh, he was so fucked up. But, at the same time, he got tenure- and its part of the standard contract, right? Tenured professors can teach one class ‘of their choosing.’ That Spring he was a wreck- definitely drinking a lot and generally kind of phoning it in, but the next fall he came back, clear-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to get back to work. And that was the first year he offered the History of Anterran Lit class.
HAI RONG
So what happened? What changed?
RAQUEL
I have no idea.
HAI RONG
Didn’t you ask?
RAQUEL
Nope, no way. As far as I could tell, he was back, and I was on my way to getting my thesis done with an advisor who really means something.
HAI RONG
But, I mean...
RAQUEL
What?
HAI RONG
Well, all the students I’ve talked to think he’s totally crazy. Like certifiable.
RAQUEL
Have you seen those students? They’re idiots.
HAI RONG
Yeah, you’re right about that.
RAQUEL
So why did you take the class? I mean, if you think he’s nutballs.
HAI RONG
Because either way its pretty fucking intriguing, right? Either he’s right, in which case there’s been a world-changing discovery that no one else knows about, or he’s like some crazy outsider artist guy who’s made up an entire world history down to the most obsessively granular details...
RAQUEL
And which do you think it is?
HAI RONG
Honestly, I have no idea. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.
RAQUEL
I hope that wasn’t the only reason!
HAI RONG
No! No, but I mean, I definitely wanted the scoop.
RAQUEL
Well, I don’t think I can answer the mystery for you. The stuff he’s shown me, the language, the archeology- I just don’t think it’s possible for one dude to make it all up. There’s just too much! But then there’s nothing on the internet. ALmost.
HAI RONG
What do you mean?
RAQUEL
I mean I found some references to the Chinese Sub accident.
HAI RONG
You did? I couldn’t find anything.
RAQUEL
It was in an Argentinian newspaper, archived somewhere weird. I have it somewhere.
HAI RONG
Can I see it?
RAQUEL
Sure, BUT, first, let’s talk about my needs. The media arts project? Isn’t that why we’re here?
HAI RONG
Ok, ok. Hit me.
RAQUEL
Hold on, I’ve got to pee.
Footsteps, a door closes. THE LAPTOP that has been recording this gets pulled across a surface, and very fast furious typing commences. Something is pulled out of a bag and plugged into the laptop. More typing, and a confirmation beep. Something is removed from the laptop and its pushed across the surface again. A DOOR OPENS as Raquel returns from the bathroom.
HAI RONG
Ok, I’m ready.
RAQUEL
Great. Let’s talk about YOU.
Rustle of notebook pages. Gulp of wine.
RAQUEL
So question number one. Where are you from originally?
HAI RONG
Well, I was born in Yantai, China. But I moved to Vancouver when I was ten.
RAQUEL
Was that hard?
HAI RONG
Not really. I mean, sure the language was tricky and I missed my friends, but I think I was just young enough to not care too much. Plus, its what my parents said we were doing, so... that’s what we were doing. It was really a debate.
RAQUEL
Oh man I would’ve been PISSED if my parents moved when I was ten!
HAI RONG
Yeah, that’s definitely a cultural thing. American kids especially feel like they have a vote in what they do and where they go. My parents didn’t really see it that way. Neither did I.
RAQUEL
Do you feel like those expectations your parents had- those um cultural differences - did they play out throughout your adolescence, too?
HAI RONG
Oh they’re still playing out, dude. Those never go away.
RAQUEL
Weird how that works.
HAI RONG
Do your parents put a lot of pressure on you, too?
RAQUEL
Not really. They’re pretty low key. They’re both academics, so as long as I’m safely ensconced in the Ivory Tower they’re fine.
HAI RONG
Must be nice.
RAQUEL
What do your parents do?
HAI RONG
They’re engineers. My dad is a chemical engineer, and my mom is also a chemical engineer, but dad is in the like fuel sector, and mom works for a pharma company.
RAQUEL
So: highly educated.
HAI RONG
Oh yeah. Grad school at the least. Mom has two degrees.
RAQUEL
(sarcastic)
Got it- so zero expectations, very low key parenting style.
HAI RONG
Exactly. Nailed it.
RAQUEL
Next question- brothers and sisters?
HAI RONG
One sister. Older.
RAQUEL
And what’s she up to?
HAI RONG
She’s married, living in Vancouver. She’s a dentist.
RAQUEL
Does that qualify as scientific enough for your parents?
HAI RONG
Oh they don’t care about science. Ha. No, its all about stability. And yeah, dentistry- very stabile. They love it. They send all their friends to her. Plus, she just had her first kid, so... yeah she’s the golden child.
RAQUEL
And you’re not?
HAI RONG
Well, by comparison. They don’t really understand how ‘classics’ is going to lead to a stabile job.
RAQUEL
Right? It is a little lofty, I guess.
HAI RONG
If it was strictly Chinese classics, they might get that, but even then... it doesn’t have the ring of “lawyer” or “venture capital,” right?
RAQUEL
Nope, definitely not.
HAI RONG
Exactly.
RAQUEL
More wine?
HAI RONG
I probably shouldn’t. We already had 3 at that bar! I shouldn’t...
RAQUEL
That’s not a ‘no.’
HAI RONG
Your expertise in linguistics is next level.
Raquel gets up to get more wine and pours in glasses.
RAQUEL
(from a distance)
I owe it all to that Logic class with Professor Laghari.
HAI RONG
Ugh, I hated that class.
RAQUEL
I know, but Professor Laghari- oh. She is so hot.
HAI RONG
So that’s your type?
RAQUEL
I don’t have a type! I’m post-type.
HAI RONG
Well, you took me out, got me tipsy, brought me back to your room under the lame pretext of making some podcast about foreign transfer students, and now you’re pouring MORE wine, so...
RAQUEL
(flirty)
So...?
HAI RONG
I think professor Laghari would agree that the next logical question is: am I your type?
RAQUEL
(quietly)
I’d have to do some research.
HAI RONG
Field work?
RAQUEL
Real world experience.
Kissing.
HAI RONG
(whispering)
You’re not really doing a podcast on foreign transfer students, are you?
RAQUEL
Nope.
HAI RONG
You’re not very good at subterfuge.
RAQUEL
Wanna know what I am good at?
Kissing. Breathing. Clothes. Hai Rong starts to moan then remembers-
HAI RONG
Oh fuck. Can you turn that off? Or are we making a different kind of podcast?
RAQUEL
Oops. Yeah that’s second date material---